Saturday, November 25, 2006


Still We Have One Moon To Share, Don’t We?

(For Zeina)
Once upon a time, in the land where the grass is green, in a country called “Mouseland,” there was a tiny mouse. Her name was “Nancy.” Nancy was kind, loveable and placid mouse. Nancy mouse lived in a
white small house up a green hill. She loved making dolls with pinky dresses. She would spend the whole day putting the yellow robes as hair on dolls’ heads, getting her dolls dress their velvet
skirts and white little pairs of shoes. She used to have a lot of cutie dolls all over her little room with a window that overlooks the big smiling moon and her sparkling sibling stars.

Every night Nancy mouse goes to sleep after a tiresome day of making dolls, she would not forget to say to the ever smiling moon: “nighty night Ms. Moon, nighty night cuddly stars. Sweet dreams!” One night Nancy mouse fell asleep after saying “nighty night” to her elder sister the Moon, and her starry youngsters. When she closed her eyes, she saw a beautiful boat with many travelers sailing in the very big sea. The boat visited many places in the world till it reached the land where the sand is yellow, Nancy mouse was fascinated by the beautiful sands and got down the boat. She walked and walked hugging her doll with yellow hair, a pinky velvet skirt and a white little pair of shoes. She went shopping and shopping and shopping, but she did not buy anything. At last, she went to a socks shop. There she found a pair of mousy socks.

On her way out the shop, she was happy with her new socks. She stumbled with a small monkey from the land where the sand is yellow, called “Tashgypt.” “Ooooppssss! Oh! Sorry!” said Nancy mouse. The small shy monkey replied: “never mind!” with a bid smile on his face. Nancy mouse asked him: “If you don’t mind, what’s your name?” “Maimoon. My name is Maimoon,” said the monkey. “Oh! But you speak Mousish quite well. It seems you’re a clever monkey,” said Nancy. Maimoon’s face turned red in shyness. At once, Nancy mouse gave her yellow-haired doll to Maimoon. “If you don’t mind, would accept this little pressy?” said Nancy mouse. Maimoon nodded in shyness to mean he would love to take Nancy’s present. “Pardon me, why your land is called Tashgypt?” said Nancy. Maimoon monkey replied, “It is because all monkeys in our land have moustaches.” “Brilliant!” said Nancy mouse. Then they said goodbyes, and left each other.

Maimoon monkey went back home near the Alligator River. He was very happy with his yellow-haired mousy doll present and a new true friend
from Mouseland. Before going to bed, Maimoon looked to the old smiling Moon and the stars and said: “nighty night Ms. Moon, nighty night cuddly stars. Sweet dreams!” He closed his small eyes and had a dream that he would see Nancy mouse once again, to give her a woolen pair of socks he had made especially for her. Suddenly, he woke up to find nothing but the cuddly yellow-haired mousy doll lying beside his sleeping bed.

Moral of the story: Do not miss the chance to show kindness to your true friends!

mmm..good jop!
sebak mn 7war moral dah..l2noh mesh lazem yob2a mowgod felstory aslan..w enta katboholna bel bont el 3areed :D
bs bgad elgad..smooth w good ending and bulding..
title 7'orafy ya pasha aslan..3agbny..yeah..there's a hope :)
deh ma2sah e3'reqyya eno kol elnas 3andhom shanb :S..(although they're mice ya3n) :D
gamed kal3ada..wtg
u drew a wide smile on my face ya alaa :)

i like it awi,,,, however my 2 points if u don't mind:

1. its a bit over fancy worlds. there won't be nancy mouse or the monkey. I know kids like animals.. however, me, dont feel liking it much. enough fairy tales for youngesters..
or may be i look pathatic, don't know

2. hmm... ya alaaaaaaaa :@ why english? such a beautiful story, strong morel and tender feelings should be enriching our cultur, unless its just a draft, and a 1st start for much better and better kind of stories..

bas begad, i raise my hat for you :)
not alot risk going there, to the kids fairy lands... no matter how simple.. but very hard..
we can never be as pure as them..

keep it up my friend..
We2am: I intended to type the 'moral' of the story in "bold", as you put it, to follow the 'classical' form of a children story.

This is my very first trial at writing short fiction! Children stories are even harder as you know!!!

NB. The all-moustache land is the monkey's land (not the mice's)!!!

Lasto: mmm... even though the story is dedicated to my niece, Zeina, it's also dedicated to one person who inspired me to write stories in the first place! On the surface level, it's a story for everyone, children and grown-ups, to read and enjoy! However, there're hidden meanings that no one would render except her.
أهااااا.. حلو يا لول، محاولة تنبئ بالكثير، ولو ركزت في ده، مين عارف ممكن ياخدك لإيه، أو ممكن تلاقي ايه جواك عشانه..

على أي حال، السياق كلاسيكي إلى حد كبير، دلوقتي فيه ملك الخواتم والبوكيمون وحاجات غريبة يا عم الحاج، ممكن زينة تظبطك على أساس انك خالها مش اكتر ههههههه

اتمنى في محاولات جاية انك تركز على وجود روح مصر في قصصك زي ما عم رحمي الله يرحمه كان بيعمل، وغيره كتير طبعاً. مش عارف ليه فارة بطلة القصة، اظن ممكن تلاقي رموز أنسب، لكن جمييييل متحوّش حاجة تاني يا لول
:):) Cute
What about translating it to arabic?

This story , along with Armstrong's "Wonderful world" pouring softly into my ears... made me SMILE! Thank you for that!

what a beautiful post, Alaa! masha Allah!

I like the way it is..and a very nice trial of writing Children's stories.. !masha Allah!

and the loveliest thing about that it's dedicated to adorable Zeina masha Allah

momken ab2a a7ky el 7adoota di le Heba yemken tenam :D loool

P.S. I ADORE the TITLE..a perfect one! great choice indeed!
neseit a2oul en 7ata el colours 3agbany..flowing keda...!!

la2 el post dah begad gameel awy awy masha Allah..3an eznak a2rah tany..:D lol
Kamila Awy Ya Alaa
لأ بجد حلوة قوي قوي يا علاء .. عالم من الخيال و الصداقة
I see that you have to concentrate in such field that I guess we suffer a real shortage in ... writing for childrin is a Nice Unique job ... Also I recommend if you give it an Arabic shot !

You succeded to draw a smile on my face tonight .. and the colours are cute :)
srry ya 3la2.. i missed that..w e7'tr3tlk 3ozr enhom mice so they've moustaches!
ya3ni kaman monkies!!! :D
عمّور (أبو التجارب كلها): رؤيتك تعني لي الكثير، أنا فعلا باحب الأطفال (ولعل وجود "زينة" في حياتي خلاني اكتشف في نفسي حاجات مكنتش شايفها قبل كده!

بالنسبة للسياق، أنا عارف انه "كلاسيكي" بس الفكرة إني ركزت أكتر على "المضمون" وبسبب بكارة "التجربة" (طبعا أنا عارف وقع الكلمة دي على ودنك هههه) حبيت إني (ودا طبيعي) إني ألجأ إلى السياق والشكل الكلاسيكي الشائع.

ثانياً، أنا أعلم تمام العلم أن الكتابة للأطفال شيء صعب، وأنا أجهل كل الجهل تفاصيل هذا العالم الرحب، كما أن إطلاق كلمة "أدب أطفال" هكذا دون تحديد للمرحلة العمرية أمر لا يخلو من تشويش!! أرحب بأي رأي ينوّرني في المسألة دي!

بص بالنسبة لـ"روح" مصر فهي موجودة في القصة بس أنتا اللي مأخدتش بالك!!! بطلة القصة فأرة وقرد (هل دا بعيد عن مصر؟ أمال لو قلت راكون وباندا مثلا!!!)

وأمومان لا تكلك أزيزي صاخب الإكسبيريمنتوس المرة الجيّا مفيس تحويس!
Eman M: thanx ..mmm... I will!

Epi: glad you liked my first trial in this beautiful yet hard field. Yes, you can tell it to Heba to let her sleep (just don't forget the copyright part) heheheheh

As for the colours, I did them on purpose cos the person, along with Zeina, to whom this story is dedicated loves rainbows (even taught me how to see 'beauty' in mundane things!)

Dido!: Always missed your comments here! Happy you liked it! Seems the Arabic version of the story is emerging hehehehehe

I know writing for children is still in its nascency in Tashgypt, oh! oh!, I mean 'Egypt', I will give it a try though!!

We2am: imagine a world where all creatures have moustaches!! hehehehehehhehehe I know it's Hell incarnate for you!

Just wait for other 'moustache' stories by Aladdin (evil smile)

Cute Cute Cute!

You should have seen my face when reading.. as the smile was growing bigger and BigGeR and BIGGER.. i looked like a straight idi..e7m.. ya3ni!

La2 way to go bgad.. you have what it takes.. bgad :)

p.s. did u translate it to Zeina?
Ghada: thanx thanx thanx!

The same 'smart' smile was on my face to read your comment.

Ok, I will take the expert's opinion hehehhehehe (you'll be the good critic of my prospective works!)

No, but I will translate the story as gao go gee mmmaa ppap aaa (Zeina's language), she's still 7 months!! :))
thanx for the nice story i loved it
and i loved the end

p.s:thanx for visiting my blog and saying mabrook
i loved the colours ...
the title ... the idea ... mr moon and ms moon ;) it was so sample ...

its agood as begaining aladdin
Bosbos: No need to thank me! Glad you liked the story.

Hope to see you here as always

شوق الياسمين
Next time I will write about Ms. and Mr. Monkey (will learn to make jungle sound effects!)

Believe 'great' writing can be understood and appreciated by the simplest of minds.

Glad you here!
u took me to the old days Alaa... when there was still innocence :o)

May Allah Bless U
Thanx Reham for the nice words, innocence is always 'there', you only should exert some effort to find it!
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